Liu Bang Faux Pas

    CONFEDERATE ALLIANCE NEWS SERVICE

Liu Bang Faux Pas
Special Correspondent Lance Alger

NEW YORK – The Chinese government has lodged a formal complaint against the Earth Security Service after an awkward encounter with delegates from the Liu Bang Colony on the floor of the Confederate Alliance Assembly. The representatives from China’s largest interstellar colony were found sitting at their sponsor state’s assigned desk for approximately fifteen minutes before being removed by security.

“It’s absolutely disgraceful that they would attempt such a thing,” said Ambassador Zhang, “And even more disgraceful that the security services would allow them to enter in the first place!” Three Earth Security Service officers have been detained for questioning as a result of the faux pas, and an investigation is underway. Even so, several high-ranking members of the Neo-Communist Party have cited the incident as treason and called for the resignation of Chief of the E.S.S., Lindon Hamel. Though it is unlikely that Hamel will resign, the rancorous response marks a new high point in the ongoing tensions between China and its estranged colony.

“What we’re seeing is the latest move in a long and angry chess game between China and Liu Bang” says Professor James Zhe, Head of the Interstellar Political Science department at Harvard University. “Liu Bang wants a little more autonomy; while China wants a little more control – and both sides are going to greater and greater lengths to achieve their goals.”

Established in 2656, Liu Bang was originally conceived as a penal colony for political dissents and protesters. Ensconced on an Io-Class moon on the far side of the Orion Nebula, Chinese leaders at the time had hoped that the inhospitable environment would serve to further isolate the outpost and its vocal inhabitants. However, a hundred years after its founding, Liu Bang has since grown into one of the most successful colonies in the galaxy. Its constitution is still regarded as a standard model for frontier democracies, and its abundant metallic resources have transformed it into a leading industrial power. “Liu Bang could easily become one of the most economically powerful planets in the Confederate Alliance,” says Zhe. “The only problem is that China needs them too much.”

According to a recent Galactic Economist study, Liu Bang’s titanium industry alone could have easily accommodated every colony project undertaken over the last ten years. Unfortunately, China’s “Inspection Laws” have made it prohibitively expensive to transport materials anywhere except to the central kingdom. As a result, Liu Bang has been a somewhat unwilling accomplice to China’s centuries-long construction boom. “Basically, they’re so worried about building their empty skyscrapers that they’ve made it illegal for us to drop our goods at our own space stations,” explains Base Council Leader Cheng Friedman. “Everything that leaves the planet has to fly to Earth before anyone can use it.”

Of course, Liu Bang – ever resilient – has an array tricks up its sleeve. Virtually alone in one of the most poorly charted areas of space, smuggling in and around Liu Bang is rampant. According to the Galactic Economist, almost 75% of all goods that leave the surface do so illegally – usually dispersed to the surrounding settlements by proxy groups and unregistered colonies.

“So what we ultimately have is an arms race of sorts. China attempts to impose its mercantilist policies on Liu Bang. Liu Bang responds by ignoring the rules. China, then, strikes back by appealing to the Assembly,” says Zhe – referring to the Overwatch Security Resolution that passed through the Confederate Alliance Assembly almost two months ago. Most of the affirmative votes are believed to have come about under intense Chinese pressure. “The Overwatch Resolution doesn’t make any sense unless you’re China,” explains Zhe. “There’s nothing out there except Liu Bang, and yet a disproportionate percentage of the C.A. fleet is now being diverted there to look for pirates and terrorists.”

Liu Bang has attempted in the past to appeal its case directly to the Assembly, but those overtures are often ignored because of its status as a territory. “We may be light-years away, but the law books still say that we’re as much a part of China as Shanghai,” laments Friedman, “It’s ridiculous, and it’s about time that the colonists did something about it.”

The delegates were released after about an hour of questioning, despite loud complaints from the Chinese government. When asked for a comment, the leader of the group, Chenghan Hoff, left a characteristically short and cryptic message: “This is just a reminder.”

“They wanted to send a message,” says Zhe, “and sitting in China’s seat is probably the most threatening message they could have sent. They just demonstrated to the whole assembly that they could replace China and nobody would know the difference. That goes far beyond the ‘you can’t control us forever’ rhetoric that we’ve heard in the past. Now they’re saying, ‘We’re bigger than you.’”

ADAM PICA

Past Entries: Flat No To Earth Aid

FLAT NO TO EARTH AID

FLAT NO TO EARTH AID
Special Correspondent Lance Alger

HILDALGO IV – With the widespread outbreak of a Type 2 Zeta-Influenza Virus, local colonial leaders have taken the unprecedented move of officially refusing Confederate Alliance aid, which Earth had promised within days of the initial reports. Instead, the chilly “snowball” world has actively courted help from the Galileo system – its relatively close neighbor just ten light-years down the galactic south.

That refusal rattled several countries in both the Senate and the Assembly, many of whom had already allocated billions of credits to the effort well before the Parliament began drafting any legislation. “I think it’s criminally irresponsible” said Speaker of the Assembly, Muhammad Khan. “There are people dying out there. They need whatever help they can get, and the colonial government should be facilitating that.”

Even as some more extreme voices have begun suggesting sanctions, the Hildalgo government remains steadfast in its decision. “While the offer of aid is much appreciated,” said Colonial Secretary Nieve Jonas, “We also believe that the issue is a regional one, and is best resolved with local solutions.” “Those funds could better serve the entire Confederate Alliance, rather than just our little corner of the galaxy.”

Curiously, several surrounding colonies in the region echoed similar sentiments. “We are always pleased and honored to help our neighbors” said Galilean Prime Minister Luis Blancus at a press conference. “The Galileo System is a highly successful well-oiled machine. It is only right some of that success is invested in the health and expansion of the surrounding colonies and outposts.” The Hildalgo system was originally colonized by settlers from Galileo, though it has seen a steady and diverse influx of job seeking immigrates over the past fifty years.

“What we’re seeing is a plea for faster aid, not less of it” said Matthew Mycroft of the ‘Stop ZI Interstellar Fund,’ “we’re talking about a region that still remembers the Artemis Zeta outbreak like it was yesterday.”
The Artemis Zeta outbreak, still considered one of the worst epidemics in human history, ravaged the titular system for nearly a decade before the Parliament finalized its galactic budget and authorized the aid expedition. Seven years later, the once vibrant terran-class worlds of Artemis I and II still remain highly dangerous and functionally uninhabitable for humans.

“The Hildalgo IV government is making a statement,” contends Mycroft. “They’re tired of waiting for the Confederate Alliance. And why wait for your government thousands of light-years away, if your neighbors are right there?”